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  • Writer's picturekiehart

Unplugged but not Forgotten

Updated: May 10, 2023

After being unplugged from emails (my choice) for several weeks, I thought I’d tally a sampling of the 400+ garbage/spam emails I received during those days away from social media.

The gist of the first 100:

___ My anti-virus account has expired, my AOL settings are out of date, my Medicare account needs updating, my iCloud storage is full, and my credit scores can be better.

___ I’ve won 3 Costco Gift Cards, a $500 Walmart Gift Card, a JC Penny reward card, a Sams Club gift card, a Keurig Coffee Machine, a Dell Inspiron, an Igloo Trailmate cooler, a Samsun Galaxy Z Fold (?) and two, 170-piece Stanley Tool Kits.

___ 13 Shipments were delayed for unknown purchases and I was notified that 3 claims are under review and that I am behind on my reverse mortgage payments.

___ Several product ads assure me, that: my penis (if I had one) can stay harder longer, I can no longer suffer from pain and anxiety, I can whiten my teeth, I can unlock three inches of extra growth (not sure to which body part this refers), and I can reverse limpness with a potent tonic now available.

___ If I choose to ‘click here,’ I could learn how Eskimos prevent nerve pain, how to stay rock hard 12 different ways, how to get rid of skin tags, how to train my parrot, how to apply for a mortgage, and that by doing something with my left arm how to improve memory.

___ There are treatments available for turning back the clock on aging knees, a new stocking is available for sore feet, new shoes are available to ease back pain. I can also have whiter teeth, thicker hair, tighter buttocks, and a longer-lasting erection.

___ Numerous emails referred to CBD products and at least 26 ways to lose weight.

___ I was selected 9 times (but have no idea what for).

I’ve had time to sort through (but not time to respond to) valid emails, a mere 35 of them. The one that stood out was the announcement that Calico Lane received the 2023 Firebird Award (first place in the LGBTQ Nonfiction Category) for the first quarter of this new year!

I limit which contests I enter mostly because there are so many and everyone is willing to take your entry fee--with the chance of winning kind of like playing the Lottery. With Firebird, the submission entry fee is considered an actual donation to women with children in homeless shelters (and not a contribution to the organization’s till). More important than receiving a sticker for the book’s cover, I know entry fees help to provide happy handmade pillowcases, pillows, colorful totes, and children’s books to women and children in long-term shelters, including Enchanted Makeovers. A win-win even if your submission is not selected!

I’ve also added several new items to my website (upcoming book events, podcasts, and announcements). Also, now you can purchase a signed copy of Calico Lane through my website.

Remember to tell your friends to check out my website for lots of fun stuff, and if you’ve read Calico Lane, please take a moment to leave a one-line comment on Amazon or Goodreads to help other readers decide if Calico Lane is a book they’d also enjoy!

Next, a post about my trip to Amsterdam.

Stay tuned! Stay healthy!



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Connie Johnson-Jasperson
Connie Johnson-Jasperson
May 01, 2023

So, did you take the course to train your parrot? I'm sure the bird could be trained to sing opera, lol! Your mailbox looks like mine - and half of my spam emails are for someone named Jeanine - coincidentally she was the person who first had our land line # prior to 2005. That tells you how comprehensive identity theft is nowadays.


Gretchen Staebler
Gretchen Staebler
Apr 28, 2023

O.M.G. Also, WowZa! Looking forward to meeting you both at the Columbia River Author Festival on Saturday!

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