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  • Writer's picturekiehart

I Would Have...

Updated: Jan 4

In the 1960s and 1970s, our daily newspaper ran Ann Landers’ advice column and Erma Bombeck’s humorous takes on everyday life columns regularly and for whatever reason, Mom was fixated on these women and their ‘words of wisdom.’ She clipped hundreds of the columns and pasted them into scrapbooks for future reference. Mom loved receiving Bombeck’s paperback books as gifts over the years and I recently came across "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank," which had me in stitches. Landers and Bombeck possessed a no-nonsense, down-to-earth approach to life. For 2024, I am sharing one of my favorite Bombeck pieces with you. Some of it is a bit dated, but you’ll get the gist overall. The piece is titled, " I Would Have."

I would have talked less and listened more.


I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.


I would have eaten the popcorn in the “GOOD” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.


I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.


I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.


I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.


I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.


I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.


I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.


I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.


Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.


When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”


There would have been more “I’m sorry’s” but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it…live it…and never give it back.


What could you add to this list?

Best wishes for a happy and healthy 2024! May you seize every minute of every day!



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